Did you ever have a hobby that you felt very ashamed of?
I have several. More than being ashamed of them, I just found them hard to explain.
Fanfiction is one of them.
Read More »自分の好みは肌の色にかかる？
小さい頃はスパイスガールズが大好きで、友達とよく歌っていた。
私たちは4人の女の子だったので、一人一人メンバーを選んで真似をしていた。
私はベイビースパイスが好きで、彼女の真似をしたかった。しかし、友達は「ダメ、イヴァナは黒人だから、スケーリースパイスよ！」
「ええ？関係ない！」と答えた。だって、1番好きのは肌の色に関係ないと思って怒っていた。正直そのあと、友達に合わせたのか、喧嘩になったのか、覚えてない。けど悔しいさは一生忘れない。
*スパイスガールズとは：1994年に結成されたイギリスの女性アイドルグループである。
A sick day…
Kyoko woke up with a headache and a sore throat. She wanted to groan but instead a series of coughs went out.
She got a cold again. She hated it. Especially with the deadline coming up and the design not even finished. She wanted to go to work. She wanted to draw.
But as she got up, her head spun and she knew she wouldn’t be able to make it. She took her phone and called her boss.
“Rest!” he said in his usual jovial voice, “we still have time!”
She still apologized, her voice failing her half way through. She said her last apologies and hung up. She got up just to take some medicine and went back to sleep, mad at herself for getting a cold so easily and causing trouble to her team.
Kyoko woke up again, this time by her phone’s constant buzzing. It’s her mom calling and she’s surprised. Her mom rarely called.
“Kyoko! Kyoko! Thank god!”
She was confused. What is going she asks and her mom gasped. “You have’t seen the news?”
As her mom spoke of a fire and explosion, Kyoko looked through her many messages from friends and people she rarely spoke to asking if she was alright.
The highlight in LINE NEWS was shocking: “A fire broke in KyoAni studios”
Tears were in her eyes as she coughed some more. The fire was not being tamed yet and the number of injured and dead was unconfirmed.
She was sobbing, her breath ragging. Her mom was telling her to calm but she couldn’t.
She could’ve been there. She should’ve been in this building. She is relieved but regretted the feeling automatically.
She tried to message her boss and coworkers but none were answering. She didn’t realized she had hung up on her mom until she called back.
“Kyoko, you have to calm down! I’m coming over ok.” It was an affirmation not a question. Her head was still spinning. From the cold or form the situation, Kyoko wasn’t sure.
Her throat was burning. Tears had not stopped flowing.
She could’ve been there. She should’ve been there.
How do you live with the guilt of being a survivor?
*#PrayforKyoAni Inspired by the fire and my friends’ friend who took a sick day on the day of the fire. Condolences to everyone who lost someone dear in the fire.
5 things that will for sure happen as a Black person in Japan and how to deal with it
Japan is a lit place. I love it. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it is a paradise on earth. Even if I high key believe every place has (kinda innocent) discrimination and obvious racism, Japan, because of its lack of diversity, still stay a place that once in awhile, you’ll wanna scream “STOP DOING THAT”.
- The Stare ™
Yeah. It deserves a trademark. Because the “OMG a black person” stare will for sure happen. If you are in the middle of Dotonburi (touristic place in Osaka) or middle of Tokyo, you might not feel it. But as soon as you are in a most residential place, you won’t escape it.
Solution 1: Ignore.
Solution 2: Stare back until they get uncomfortable. Because they most likely will. If they aren’t they might hit on you though.
Solution 3: Smile and wave. Also a chance to get hit on.
*Kids will continue to stare whatever you do though so just roll with it. - “Teach me English.”
I lowkey get insulted every time because “Je suis Québécoise, fou-moi la paix”. Also, why should I teach you anything? If you like to teach, great, if you are like me and don’t even understand the languages you speak, then just ignore them. Unless they are cute. - Random drunk person citing every black person they know
I’ll be real here, it only happened twice, in the 2 years I’ve been here. But it was twice too much. Like, yeah I’m black, doesn’t mean I like Nicki Minaj (I like her though but you don’t need to know that). - You have long legs!!!!
Maybe not for every black person. I feel like it happens a lot more to girls too. But if you are tall, especially if you are wearing shorts, you will not escape the comment. I mean thanks, I like my legs too but you know how hard it is to find pants in this country?
No. You don’t. And that’s exactly what I answer all the time. - Your hair, is it a perm?
I mean. They don’t know. They literally don’t. And it’s not like American tv shows taught them anything. BUT NO IT IS NOT A PERM IT’S MY NATURAL HAIR THEY ARE CURLY AF AND I HAVE SHIT TON OF GEL IN THEM SO DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH THEM
Special mention to the: 日本語上手ですね！
AKA “You speak really good Japanese!”
It happens to every foreigner that is in Japan and speak a little (or a lot!) of the language. It doesn’t matter if you only said thanks or you just recited your opinion on modern philosophy. You will hear it.
Every. Single. Time. You. Meet. A. New. Japanese. Person.
Just say thank you. Take a deep breath and when they ask why, reply: “I studied.” Do not say more. It’s not worth it since you’ll repeat the same story over and over again.
That’s it fam. I’m sure there is a lot more I could rant about. Like high key, there is a bunch of weird convo that can go on and on in this country. But at the end of the day, just chill. You learn to ignore people or just invent a bunch of lies like my friends do when they go to a “交流会” (aka mixing party aka a place to flirt and have the most awkward conversations).
And remember, it’s not racism if they don’t know. Teach other people the differences that makes all of us unique. And if they still say dumb shit, then you can tell them to f*ck off.
Religious signs in public; Accommodations or intolerance?
I know this blog should be all about my Japan experience and idols (truth to be told, I wasn’t expecting to write so much about them but then, being me, I shouldn’t be surprised).
However, when our teacher asked the class to write a balanced article, the only thing that came to my mind was the situation in Quebec right now.
Quebec, and Canada in general, is seen as a very open place. Canada welcomed more than 200,000 immigrants in 2018. Quebec was second in the welcoming provinces with around 48,000 immigrants.
Now, with all those people, it is certain that some people will probably be of different backgrounds, skin color and of course religion. Which brings me to today’s topic: religious signs in public.
I once saw on Facebook a funny comparison between religion and dicks. Most people don’t want to see your dick without a reason, or having a dick forced down your throat as a matter of fact; however if both parties are consent, then you should do it in private.
In that sense, I can understand why people are against religious signs in public. I do not need to know your religion and you should keep it to yourself, unless we consent to talk about it. That is most likely the base of Quebec Prime Minister Francois Legault’s new law about banning religious symbols at work for civil servants in positions of authority, including public school teachers, government lawyers and police officers.
However, a lot of people see this law as unfair, especially toward women wearing a hijab, as it reduced job opportunities for them. Teacher is a popular job choice for Muslim women and this law could raise the already alarming numbers of unemployed in that group.
Quebec has also seen a distressing rise in the number of hate crimes toward the same group since the law has passed. Which bring us to a question: is telling a human being not to show their religious symbols showing a lack of tolerance?
Legault said no. He also argued that discrimination, going from being told to “go back to your country” to being refused a service, is simply because there will always be “racist people”.
Nevertheless, precisely because there will always be “racist people”, shouldn’t Quebec talk about it? Instead of putting a law out there and pushing a group away from certain possibilities, shouldn’t we ask their point of view on this? Try to understand their religion and how to accommodate it in the largely atheist Quebec?
And more importantly, if someone is wearing a religious symbol, should it change how we see them, whatever position they are in? The most important thing shouldn’t it be how they execute the job rather than their looks?
Some say that a teacher wearing a hijab could influence kids towards Islam. But if the said teacher never talks about said religion as they are teaching, is there any real influence?
In conclusion, while I understand Legault and his team, I cannot help but to be afraid of this new law. As a minority myself, I have seen the ugly side of Quebec and its intolerance. Hearing about the distressing hate is on the raise, I cannot help but ask, where is the real problem?
As I am in Japan right now, a country that has yet to deal with more non-Japanese and seems to be struggling with it, I find it hard to find a middle ground. As more questions come up on how to live in more multicultural societies, I wonder if humanity will ever find a way to walk hand in hand.
What makes an idol?
Shigeaki Kato is not your typical idol, not ever since he wrote his debut work “Pink and Gray”. But that might just become a new thing, or as he said in a interview “because I’m an idol I can be an author and because I’m an author I can be an idol.”
He became the first Johnny’s* to write a book. Now at 6 books in, often writing short stories or essays in magazines plus still continuing his activities as a member of the idol group NEWS, Kato gave another twist to what it means to be an idol.
He also starts a conversation that most Japanese celebrities might not venture to talk about. When asked about his short story “Nibemonaku, Yorube mo naku” (found in “Kasa wo mottenai ari tachi”), he mentioned being worried that “writing sexual depictions and homosexuality would be prohibited as an idol ” but he “overcame that as an author”.
While most his works are surrounded by what he knows best, the entertainment world, he tries various genres. What he aims for the most is to prove that he can do it and to show those who could hold prejudice wrong. “I thought that the eyes of the readers would be harsh. Like ‘why is a Johnny’s in SPA!*?’ […] I wrote it it forward-looking like ‘I’m gonna get them to say it’s interesting'”.
Recent idols are engaging in various activities, not only their (sometime dubious) talent in singing, dancing and acting. Kato is one of those idols that shows that there might be much more than a pretty face.
Why not try one of his books if you are not convinced?
*Johnny’s: The name given to male idols from the agency Johnny’s & Associates
*SPA!: Japanese weekly magazine
Sources: QLAP! June 2015, SPA! 6.14.2016
A concert to remember
They are going to be just in front of me. As soon as that thought is in my head, my eyes start to water. The screams are louder on my right.
I turn and see Koyama, waving at the crowd. Hundreds of tiny white lights wave back as enthusiastically.
The screams are getting louder and louder. He now just in front of me. Everyone goes crazy. They scream his name but I can only look in front of me, unmoving. He is there. He is real. Only a few meters away from me.
Before I know it, he is gone and next come Masuda, Tegoshi to finish with Kato, who waves at my section and I can almost feel that our eyes meet despite being in the crowd. Maybe they did, maybe they didn’t, but it doesn’t matter.
Up until then, people that were only on the tiny screen of my computer never seemed life sized. I’ve watched all their DVDs and owned most of the CDs. Yet they had only been tiny figures inside my computer.
I had travelled all the way from Canada to Japan. Then to the city of Sendai just to be able to see them on my birthday. Going to the venue itself had been an adventure as it was far from the station. I knew little of the bus system and had not read about the free shuffle bus available. I had taken a taxi and had waited around the venue until 16:00 when the door opened.
None of that matters as the screams continue but subdue as they go back to the center stage.
I keep on gripping the penlight. They were in front of me, few meters away. They are still there, breathing the same air as me.
They are no more tiny figures in a screen. They are alive human beings.
As the sound fades and fans bustle out of the arena, the tears falls down.
Pokemon: Detective Pikachu, A review
Yesterday, I went to see “Pokemon: Detective Pikachu”, the movie based on the game with the same name released in 2016 and part of the Pokemon franchise.
If you have been living under a rock for the past 20 years and do not know, the Pokemon franchise started as games where you could capture animal based monsters which each have their own powers. The name Pokemon comes from “pocket” and “monster”. Those monsters do not talk, only repeat their names or variations of their name.
The film is set in that world, following Tim, a lonely young man in his early 20s, as he goes to the fictional Ryme City after learning about his father’s death. There he mets a Pikachu (an electric mouse type) who talks and proclaims himself as Tim’s father’s detective partner. Tim and the talking Pikachu start to investigate to find out the truth about Tim’s father’s death.
The movie recreates the universe perfectly with amazing CGI. Those who are are used to the 2D universe were septical about the Pokemons from the scales of the big lizard Charizard or the fur of the Pikachu easily picturing how it would feel in real life.
Of course, Ryan Renolds as the voice of Pikachu makes it amusing and gives the part so much of his wicked personality, with clever puns scattered all through the movie. Justice Smith’s performance as Tim is adorable as the awkward not yet an adult and struggling to find his place in this world, which is relatable.
However, the plot is cliched and you can guess how the movie will end inside the first 20 minutes. There is no unexpected plot twist or sarcastic “Deadpool” like humor as some might have been expected with Ryan Renolds doing the voice.
Still, the story is heartwarming and fun. It will definitively make you laugh and it can be enjoyed at any age. I highly recommend it, even more if you grew up dreaming about becoming a Pokemon trainer.
Overwhelming Tokyo
I will always remember the first time I came to Japan.
It was in September 2012, at the dawn of my 21st birthday.
It was my first time traveling alone, so far, and more over, in a country that I had been admiring for so long. I had been a fan of Japanese animation, TV series and Jpop since high school and had this black and white image of how Japan would be. I had so many expectations, both positive and negative.
I arrived in Narita airport, first overwhelmed by the heat. Back in Canada, the fall wind had already started to blow yet Tokyo was offering the blazing heat of summer. But that wasn’t what made think I was in Japan.
What brought tears in my eyes was a poster of the Jpop idol band “Arashi”, the first Japanese group I fell in love with, that made me think; “Finally, I’m here.”
I had to make my way to my first hotel in Shinjuku. At that time, I had no internet on my phone and no clue about internet routers. So I stumbled, with two large suitcases, and got to Shinjuku station with the express bus where I got my second shock.
I arrived at the station, late at night and saw a sea of business men on their way home. I was astonished by the conformity and thought about all the books about Japanese society I had read back home.
Then the impressive sounds and lights swamped my senses and all I could do was gawk at more posters of more idols. Everything was so shiny and interactive, it made it look like a video game. No pictures or video could’ve prepared me for the feeling of being so small in this huge town.
After getting lost for an hour and finally finding my hotel, I crashed and slept, still shaken by the experience.
I was finally there, in Japan. The land I dreamt and wished for years ago. It was a dream come reality for this soon to be 21 year old girl.
The next day, I went on an adventure to find my apartment, and to look for more poster of idols. I also had planned to go to a concert in Sendai the following weekend. I was unstoppable.
But more of those adventures will be for another blog post.
Hello!
I’m Ivana! I’m trying this new thing to share about things I know and feel!
I’ll come back soon!
iva In Japan 